Just young, lost, happy, and confused: A blog of what i am, what i want, and what i used to be(:
You know i have thought for a long time well if i just get to this weight I’ll be happy. If i just get to this weight everything will be okay. If i just get to this weight he’ll love me. But really I’m starting to realize its not about weight and it probably never was. I mean no I’m not skinny, I’m still a fatty. But honestly I’m sorta okay with how i look. But i can’t stop. You know, whenever something bad happens in my life instead of looking at that problem in particular i look at my body and just critique it. And then somehow i forget all about my problems. I don’t know i don’t think its about weight for anyone. I could be wrong though.
Ideas Thoughts Opinions?
I’m not sure why, or what caused it but I hate for almost anyone to touch me. I don’t like my parents to touch or most guys. I think that there are a few people that can touch me and I’m okay with it, but for the most part I can’t deal with being touched. I want to be though, I just, its hard to explain I just can’t handle it. I’ve had dreams of people holding me and then the push and push and push in until my ribs crack. Yet another catch 22 of my life.
I wish i could make you proud. I’m sorry I’m not good enough.